A while ago I was talking drinking with a dear friend, bemoaning the seemingly effortless way men “get things done” We got a lot of laughs guffaws at their expense, coming up with all variety of jokes, but ultimately we both arrived at the same sobering moment of truth.
“They just DO IT!”
And no, no Nike swoosh went flying over our tipsy little heads… we had just struck upon some revelatory moment akin to a lightening bolt striking our now-empty bottle of sweet, sweet wine and refilling it with nectar of the Gods: Men. Just. Do. It.
Sure, they might still suffer the same insecurities as we, but they don’t sit forever planning and preening and perfecting… they kind of just put on their swagger, strut up to the mountain and say “GIMME!”
And darn it all if that mountain doesn’t give in more often than not.
You see, I don’t think it had occurred to me (before that moment) that I could should just ask for anything. I had to earn it. I had to sit down to each and every task with the same dedication I imagined Van Gogh took to “Starry Night” – only, how do I know he wasn’t drunk off his noggin’ and having one hell of a good time painting that swirly masterpiece, before placing it before the masses and proclaiming it “Good.”
Because I had never felt quite empowered enough to march into a room and announce myself a writer, much less a good great Starry Night quality one.
I hadn’t felt bold enough to ask theater company, producer, deep-pocketed pirate, for anything.
Until this little humongous revelation, I had been doing everything like a polite, wait-your-turn little girl.
And I don’t think I’ve ever heard anyone say that this is a little girl’s world.
So I adopted the following mantra (okay, pirated, altered, and then adopted from the Christians): “What would a man do?”
And then I do it.
Because I have spent enough time apologizing and waiting.
Because this world of interconnectedness is still vastly out of whack.
Because I may be softer in the hips, easier on the eyes, and more prone to giggle than a man, but I sure as hell can write better than a lot of ‘em too– I’ve just got to remember to ask for the things I want, to demand the respect I deserve, and to take the risks necessary to reach these wonderful goals of mine.
And that ain’t ego, people, that’s just the way a man would do it